8 Signs of an Introvert Hangover
Back when I worked a corporate 9-5 job, the team I worked on would gather for an annual Summit to map out projects for the following year. This was a multi-day event where they'd essentially sequester us at some off-the-grid hotel. That meant breakfast, lunch, and dinner were eaten together (along with full days of meetings!).
It was exhausting.
I liked my coworkers, but by the time dinner rolled around, the last thing I wanted was to eat dinner with them!! I would've much preferred to order room service and enjoy a quiet dinner by myself in my room while enjoying a movie of my choice.
I needed that time to recharge to have sufficient energy for the next full day of meetings.
The first day, while tiring, wasn't too bad for me. But, with each subsequent day, my patience diminished, my irritation increased, and by the time we reached the final day, it took every ounce of remaining energy (which wasn't much!) not to snap everyone's head off! Even smiling felt challenging.
After a few of those, I learned to take time off after the event so I could hole up at home to recharge and just be with my thoughts.
What I experienced during those events was something I was familiar with and is something all introverts experience from time to time...the Introvert Hangover.
Because we live in a very extrovert-leaning society, the conditioning we've experienced has left us believing the extrovert way is the best (and only!) way, so introvert hangovers are something many of us have to navigate.
And while we may not be able to avoid all situations, by understanding the signs, we can prioritize finding solitude to recharge our batteries and make informed decisions to protect our best asset...our energy.
For me, I learned not to join my colleagues for happy hour between the last meeting and dinner. Instead, I'd enjoy that precious hour or so in silence in my room. I'd also try to take a quick walk after lunch to escape the small talk and endless conversation. And the bathroom became my mid-meeting escape room. I visited the facilities many more times than my bladder needed because my brain needed the privacy and quiet.
What is an Introvert Hangover?
An introvert hangover is when you've surpassed your capacity to be around other people.
Extroverts gain energy and recharge by being in the company of others. Introverts are the opposite. They refuel by being alone.
Introverts also tend to be more sensitive to external stimulation, so a lot of talking, loud music, crowded restaurants, etc., can lead to overstimulation, draining those internal batteries even faster.
As an introvert, when you spend too much time around others, especially if a lot is going on, you will reach a point where you crash into, what I call, the introvert wall. Once you hit that wall, it's almost like a switch flips, and suddenly you're done. You feel a deep urge to get out of there and find solitude.
The only cure for an introvert hangover is to spend time on your own to recharge.
8 Signs of an Introvert Hangover
If you're an introvert, you're no stranger to the introvert hangover, even if you didn't know it's a legitimate thing!
You've likely felt the exhaustion wash over you when spending time with family, at a party, or at a work function. Suddenly, your brain feels foggy, and all you want to do is escape to the privacy of your home (or hotel room!).
Awareness of the signs your body sends you to warn you that you're hitting your max with social time will help you escape before hitting that introvert wall.
While everyone is different, let's take a look at the most common signs that you're approaching the danger zone of an introvert hangover:
1 | YOU FEEL EXHAUSTED OR DRAINED
This is one of the first signs I notice. If I'm in a social setting and suddenly feel my energy drop, I know my departure must be imminent. At that point, I know it becomes harder to stay engaged with people, and my enjoyment starts to slide.2 | YOUR BRAIN FEELS FOGGY / IT'S HARD TO CONCENTRATE
I'm a good listener (like most introverts!), and for the most part, I enjoy listening to others. But, when I'm approaching my social limit, my ability to focus and concentrate takes a hit. My brain physically feels fuzzy or foggy, and trying to pay attention becomes challenging. This also impacts my ability to respond and have an engaging conversation with someone.3 | YOU FEEL IRRITABLE OR SHORT-TEMPERED
I'm usually very calm, but when I'm hurtling towards my introvert wall, everything irritates me and gets on my nerves! I'm not typically someone that snaps at other people, so feeling like I want to snap at others is a clear sign that I've gone past my limit (or I'm about to!).4 | YOUR MOOD PLUMMETS
I'm a pretty upbeat, optimistic, and friendly person. But, when I'm in an introvert hangover (or fast approaching one!), my sunny outlook turns dark and stormy. I don't slide into a depressive state, but I'm definitely not my usual happy-go-lucky self.5 | YOUR ENERGY DROPS
By the time I hit that introvert wall, I've used a lot of energy. So, for the next day or so, my energy is at ground zero. This is similar to feeling exhausted and drained but on a deeper level. I can overcome exhaustion with a good night's sleep, but to restore my energy, I need a significant chunk of time by myself, wrapped up on my couch like a burrito, binging Harry Potter.6 | YOU MAY HAVE A HEADACHE OR OTHER PHYSICAL ACHES
For some, their head will pound when experiencing an introvert hangover. For others, their gut acts up. As your body sends subtle signals to get you to abandon the social scene, if you push past your limits, your body resorts to more obvious physical signs that you can't ignore.7 | YOU STRUGGLE TO MAKE DECISIONS
I'm a pretty decisive person and have no problems making quick decisions. But, in an introvert hangover or during recovery, I don't have the mental bandwidth to make sound decisions. "Whatever" becomes my mantra.8 | YOU CRAVE ALONE TIME
While introverts routinely enjoy alone time, when you hit that introvert wall and tumble into an introvert hangover, the intensity you crave solitary time multiplies significantly. For me, it feels like it consumes every cell of my being! I need it more than I need food, water, or sleep (although those usually help to reduce the hangover symptoms, too!).What to do about an Introvert Hangover…
When you succumb to an introvert hangover, the only remedy is time alone.
By the time you hit this point, your nervous system is overstimulated, and you need to be in solitude to soothe it back into a healthy state.
This can feel challenging for some introverts to honor because they feel guilty for not spending time with others. Or, they have to deal with the backlash from their loved ones who don't understand and want you to feel bad for not spending time with them.
It's a necessity (much like eating when you're hungry). Depending on the degree of your hangover, you may only need an hour alone or a day or two to refill your cup fully.
My ex-boyfriend never understood my requests for alone time after socializing with his very extroverted friends. It made it even harder to recharge when I felt guilty the entire time for hurting his feelings by wanting an afternoon to myself.
My current boyfriend of 5+ years is the exact opposite. While he's not an introvert, he respects my need to recharge on my own and never gives me a hard time if I need that space.
So, carving out the space to recharge may be something new for those in your life, but by explaining the difference between extroverts and introverts, describing how it leaves you feeling, and assuring them that your need for space has nothing to do with them, you'll be able to establish needed boundaries to take care of yourself.
Now that you have a better understanding of what an introvert hangover is and you know the signs that you're either experiencing one or about to, you can take control to block off time to recharge after events.
You can also pay closer attention to your body to learn what other signals you're getting close to slamming into the introvert wall.
Remember, it's not selfish to honor your needs and to say 'no' if your energy isn't sufficient for socializing!
If you'd like to learn how to avoid an introvert hangover and have a handy-dandy guide for recovering, grab my free Introvert Hangover Handbook to keep on hand for your next round of social events!
