I became a Certified Crystal Practitioner in 2022. Part of this program involved studying the chakra system, and I fell in love with it! Understanding how our energy works both within and outside our body is the foundation for our vitality.

While there are undoubtedly common characteristics of the chakra system across all living things, everybody's system is unique. And what's amazing is that our bodies communicate the status of our chakras with us daily. By understanding the signs that indicate imbalances in your energy flow, you can take action to align and heal it.

This is particularly important for introverts because our extrovert-biased society has conditioned us to reject our introverted nature to feel worthy of love, acceptance, success, and abundance.

Having confidence is something that a lot of people struggle with, right?

Confidence is one of those things that's an inside job.

What I mean by that is no one else can make you believe in yourself! Only you can do that!

But, it can feel challenging to feel that deep sense of unshakeable confidence when a lifetime of extrovert-biased conditioning leaves you believing that being an introvert is a disadvantage or something you need to overcome (it's NOT!).

As I've shared in the first two parts of the Setting Boundaries for Introverts 4-part series, boundaries are essential to life.

Everyone needs boundaries, but many struggle to identify, communicate, and enforce those needed protections.

In part 1, I shared why it's SO essential for introverts to have boundaries, and in part 2 I shared the three types of boundaries every introvert needs (and how to create your own!). Today, I want to take the conversation further and talk about one of the most complex parts of setting boundaries: communicating and enforcing your boundaries.

Boundaries are one of those essential life skills that I feel we have to learn "on the job." No one teaches us how to speak up for ourselves or even get clear with ourselves on when to speak up for ourselves!

It can feel challenging to confront someone with a request that feels aligned with you but might not be for them.

But, for so many, it's easier to stay quiet and figure out a way to just deal with it, right?

Setting boundaries is an exercise that many find challenging. It's not always easy to stand up for yourself when it feels like you might upset or let down others. But, neglecting to establish guardrails around what's important to you or how you deserve to be treated means you're upsetting and letting yourself down.

You are not less worthy than others, so your needs deserve to be protected!

For introverts, it can feel extra challenging to set boundaries because most shy away from conflict and because conditioning has led you to believe your introvert-based needs are unacceptable or unnecessary.

I talk a lot about how societal conditioning favors the extrovert ideal and puts introverts on the defense for their entire lives (well, until they become wise to what's happening and take matters into their own hands!).

For most introverts, feeling like they are at a disadvantage, that it's easier for extroverts, or that there's only one way to be successful in this world are all manifestations of this conditioning.

And if you believe any of those to be true, guess what you end up doing?

One of the things I love about coaching is having the beautiful opportunity to witness someone's transformation. It's so amazing to see the empowerment that comes from seeing yourself and your life from a new perspective.

Today, I want to share the transformational story of a client that recently completed my 6-month Everyday Embodiment program.

Every introvert I've spoken with over the years has one very key thing in common...

They spend most of their childhood and early adulthood believing something was wrong with them or that they were weird because they didn't enjoy the same level of socializing and attention-seeking as their peers.

Schools don't directly teach the concepts of introversion and extroversion. Indirectly, however, it's a different story.

There is a LOT of misunderstanding and misconceptions about what it means to be introverted. This misunderstanding creates a circle where the misconceptions fuel the misunderstanding, and the misunderstanding fuels the misconceptions.

When I worked in corporate, they'd do some sort of restructuring every few years, resulting in layoffs. These layoffs always targeted the people who had been at the company for a long time (like me!).

My biggest fear was losing my job and my income. Every time layoffs happened, it would trigger this threat to my security and my deepest fears. So, I'd wake up in the middle of the night terrified about what I'd do if I lost my job. I became obsessive over the possibility, even though I knew it wasn't something I could control, and all I could do was ensure I was providing value by doing a good job.

After years of feeling terrified, in September 2021, my biggest fear became my reality.

Self-care is essential for everyone. But for introverts, self-care is KEY because the world is designed to support extroverts, not introverts.

While extroverts are recharged by being social and around others, introverts are drained by too much socializing. To recharge and feel refreshed, introverts need to spend time alone.

It's easy for introverts to find themselves overwhelmed because of the fast-paced nature of society, the constant push to be surrounded by others, and the ever-increasing noise that surrounds us each day.

Being introverted has influenced all areas of my life.

I didn't understand why I was so "different" from the other kids as a kid. I was much quieter, didn't want any attention directed my way, and struggled to socialize in big groups. As a result, I felt awkward and uncomfortable, and on many occasions, I felt utterly invisible to those around me.

Gilmore Girls is one of my favorite shows because I adore the small-town charm and quick banter between the characters.

Since I live near the towns that inspired the fictional town of Stars Hollow, I always felt connected to the show and characters. However, in most of the episodes, I resonant the most with Rory (except the final season when it completely went off the rails, but that's a different story for another day!).

In one particular episode, the story showcases how misunderstood introverts are and how misaligned expectations prevent them from thriving.

Back when I worked a corporate 9-5 job, the team I worked on would gather for an annual Summit to map out projects for the following year. This was a multi-day event where they'd essentially sequester us at some off-the-grid hotel. That meant breakfast, lunch, and dinner were eaten together (along with full days of meetings!).

It was exhausting.

I liked my coworkers, but by the time dinner rolled around, the last thing I wanted was to eat dinner with them!! I would've much preferred to order room service and enjoy a quiet dinner by myself in my room while enjoying a movie of my choice.

I needed that time to recharge to have sufficient energy for the next full day of meetings.

I'm a hardcore, but PROUD, introvert! It's my favorite thing about myself, and I wouldn't change being introverted for all the money in the world. My success in life is because I'm introverted, not despite it.

But to get to the place, I had to challenge the false beliefs that society taught me about what it means to be introverted. Once I understood that being introverted is not something I need to fix, hide, overcome, or change, I discovered my own unique gifts and embody what makes me stand apart from everyone else.

This didn't happen overnight! I spent years in this transition of discovery, shedding, and rebirth.

Growing up, I was very shy. I can't tell you how often I heard "cat got your tongue?" from well-meaning but misguided adults.

I wasn't confident speaking up, didn't know what to say, and most times, I wanted to fade into the background.

Our neighbors, Bob and Cathy, were a lovely, friendly young couple who befriended my parents not long after moving next door. Bob was funny and engaging and desperately wanted to engage with me.

Introversion gets a bad rap.

Society has a deep misunderstanding of what it means to be introverted, which means there's a TON of misguided social conditioning that reinforces this lack of understanding.

So, if you're an introvert, it can feel challenging to see it as something that's actually a good thing! In fact, many introverts see it as a disadvantage and something they need to overcome (which is SO not true!).

As a kid, I remember meeting other kids in my neighborhood or school and always finding a few where we hit things off and became fast friends.

As an introvert, I never had a huge circle of friends. I didn't need it or want it because I preferred those few friends that understood me since we shared so much in common.

One benefit of being an introvert is that we connect deeply with people. So while we have a smaller social circle, those within it tend to be those deeper, more meaningful relationships.

As introverts, accepting our quiet nature and independent spirits can be challenging. But unfortunately, society tends to misunderstand what it means to be an introvert and paints the picture of being an introvert as a lot more gloomy than the reality.

Being an introvert is actually an amazing way to be!

I'm a hardcore introvert, and I LOVE my independent nature and the fact that I thoroughly enjoy my own company. I love my insatiable curiosity and desire to get to know others on a deeper level. And I think it's incredibly cool that my quiet nature tends to make others feel calm.

For my first "real" job out of college, I was a consultant for a software company. I traveled half the month (not as glamorous as it sounds), visiting clients, giving presentations or training, and going to dinner with my colleagues and clients.

I was in the office fielding support calls for the rest of the month. That meant taking call after call from 8:30 am to 5:30 pm. Portions of each day were non-stop calls: as soon as I'd hang up from one, the next call was already ringing.

My coworkers were right out of college and new to our town, just like me. So, everyone bonded! My coworkers were my roommates and my entire social circle.

Between living with roommates and someone always having a party, I rarely had alone time.

Feeling confident as an introvert can feel challenging when you've spent your life bombarded with the message that your very nature isn't in line with what's preferred by our extrovert-biased society.

Because of misguided external conditioning, many introverts spend their lives pretending to be more extroverted because they believe that will get them ahead.

But, spending your energy trying to be something you're not is rooted in a lack of confidence.