What it Means to be Confident as an Introvert
Feeling confident as an introvert can feel challenging when you've spent your life bombarded with the message that your very nature isn't in line with what's preferred by our extrovert-biased society.
Because of misguided external conditioning, many introverts spend their lives pretending to be more extroverted because they believe that will get them ahead.
But, spending your energy trying to be something you're not is rooted in a lack of confidence.
Society misunderstands introversion and paints it as a weakness that needs to be overcome. It sees introversion as a lack of confidence because you tend to be quieter and aren't trying to be the center of attention.
But, the more you attempt to become more extroverted, the more you damage your self-esteem and limit your confidence. You can be introverted AND confident in yourself.
To see confident introverts "in the wild," you only need to look to some of Hollywood's most famous actors and actresses: Emma Watson, Meryl Streep, Blake Lively, Ryan Reynolds, Courteney Cox, and Beyonce.
What it means to be confident as an introvert
Confidence means having a positive belief in your skills and abilities. You trust yourself in who you are, what you do, and what you choose.
Don't fake being an extrovert or pretend to be someone else to fit in
Have no problem taking alone time as you need it without guilt
Don't question yourself or feel bad about yourself because of the ignorance of others
When you're comfortable in your own skin and embrace your introverted nature, you don't feel you're at a disadvantage. Instead, you see the gifts in what you bring to the table, and you love being the way you are.
I'm a hardcore introvert, and I LOVE it! I love that I enjoy my company and that when I'm with others, I connect with them on a much deeper level.
If you're not confident in being on the quieter, more independent side, know that you can become more confident in who you are!
For example, when I started working with one of my clients, she wanted to expand her social circle and make new friends. And while she made it a priority to join groups, get involved in local activities, and attend social events, she struggled to feel heard. It was challenging for her to actively engage in conversation and feel comfortable being herself. She thought she wasn't interesting enough and couldn't understand how to become a person who could easily talk about anything and everything.
She also harshly judged what she felt were shortcomings because she wasn't living up to that extrovert ideal.
After working with her for a few months, she completely transformed her approach to meeting new people. Not only did she no longer feel boring or uninteresting, but she also discovered ways to socialize where she felt comfortable and could be herself. In those situations, she found she could talk more easily and not feel so awkward.
Her confidence began to soar by changing her actions and embracing her innate gifts!
What changes when your confidence increases
You begin to understand yourself on a deeper level, and you find that you genuinely like yourself. When that happens, you no longer care as much if others don't like you. Remember that it's human nature to care what others think about you, but when you're confident in yourself and being true to yourself, it doesn't bother you as much if you're not someone else's cup of tea.
Also, when your confidence is unwavering, you do things your way and don't feel weird or awkward. You don't feel the need to try to be like everyone else or do things the way everyone is doing everything.
And when you find your way and understand what you need to thrive, you have no problem establishing boundaries to honor your energy, needs, and desires.
When you feel confident, your self-worth no longer depends on what others think of you. Instead, you source that validation from within yourself.
How to start boosting your confidence
Growing your self-confidence is a personal journey. In other words, no one else can do it for you.
To kick-start that effort...
Find your strengths and gifts and lean into them - Introverts have gifts that add value to relationships, workplaces, classrooms, etc. Explore those and embrace those that you bring to the table.
Switch your focus from external to internal - When you focus on what others think about you and base your worthiness on their opinions, pause and switch your thoughts. Instead, you need to focus on what makes you awesome, what you like about yourself, and remind yourself of why the opinions of others are less important than your opinion of yourself.
Take aligned action - Aligned action is action that syncs with your nature, what feels good to you, and what allows you to fuel your energy instead of draining your energy. Action is the #1 way to boost your confidence! When you choose to take action aligned to your innate wiring, it reinforces your inner worth and grows your confidence. That might mean saying no to going to yet another party and staying home to recharge your batteries. Or, it might mean finding a quiet spot to enjoy people-watching at a social event instead of forcing yourself to try to join in on small talk.
This is what I love to help my clients with; so if you need help with this, I'd love to work with you! Set up a complimentary, no-obligation call with me, and we'll explore what's blocking you from thriving while planning a course of action.