Having confidence is something that a lot of people struggle with, right?

Confidence is one of those things that's an inside job.

What I mean by that is no one else can make you believe in yourself! Only you can do that!

But, it can feel challenging to feel that deep sense of unshakeable confidence when a lifetime of extrovert-biased conditioning leaves you believing that being an introvert is a disadvantage or something you need to overcome (it's NOT!).

As I've shared in the first two parts of the Setting Boundaries for Introverts 4-part series, boundaries are essential to life.

Everyone needs boundaries, but many struggle to identify, communicate, and enforce those needed protections.

In part 1, I shared why it's SO essential for introverts to have boundaries, and in part 2 I shared the three types of boundaries every introvert needs (and how to create your own!). Today, I want to take the conversation further and talk about one of the most complex parts of setting boundaries: communicating and enforcing your boundaries.

Boundaries are one of those essential life skills that I feel we have to learn "on the job." No one teaches us how to speak up for ourselves or even get clear with ourselves on when to speak up for ourselves!

It can feel challenging to confront someone with a request that feels aligned with you but might not be for them.

But, for so many, it's easier to stay quiet and figure out a way to just deal with it, right?

Setting boundaries is an exercise that many find challenging. It's not always easy to stand up for yourself when it feels like you might upset or let down others. But, neglecting to establish guardrails around what's important to you or how you deserve to be treated means you're upsetting and letting yourself down.

You are not less worthy than others, so your needs deserve to be protected!

For introverts, it can feel extra challenging to set boundaries because most shy away from conflict and because conditioning has led you to believe your introvert-based needs are unacceptable or unnecessary.

I talk a lot about how societal conditioning favors the extrovert ideal and puts introverts on the defense for their entire lives (well, until they become wise to what's happening and take matters into their own hands!).

For most introverts, feeling like they are at a disadvantage, that it's easier for extroverts, or that there's only one way to be successful in this world are all manifestations of this conditioning.

And if you believe any of those to be true, guess what you end up doing?

One of the things I love about coaching is having the beautiful opportunity to witness someone's transformation. It's so amazing to see the empowerment that comes from seeing yourself and your life from a new perspective.

Today, I want to share the transformational story of a client that recently completed my 6-month Everyday Embodiment program.

As a kid, I remember meeting other kids in my neighborhood or school and always finding a few where we hit things off and became fast friends.

As an introvert, I never had a huge circle of friends. I didn't need it or want it because I preferred those few friends that understood me since we shared so much in common.

One benefit of being an introvert is that we connect deeply with people. So while we have a smaller social circle, those within it tend to be those deeper, more meaningful relationships.

As introverts, accepting our quiet nature and independent spirits can be challenging. But unfortunately, society tends to misunderstand what it means to be an introvert and paints the picture of being an introvert as a lot more gloomy than the reality.

Being an introvert is actually an amazing way to be!

I'm a hardcore introvert, and I LOVE my independent nature and the fact that I thoroughly enjoy my own company. I love my insatiable curiosity and desire to get to know others on a deeper level. And I think it's incredibly cool that my quiet nature tends to make others feel calm.

Feeling confident as an introvert can feel challenging when you've spent your life bombarded with the message that your very nature isn't in line with what's preferred by our extrovert-biased society.

Because of misguided external conditioning, many introverts spend their lives pretending to be more extroverted because they believe that will get them ahead.

But, spending your energy trying to be something you're not is rooted in a lack of confidence.

Ahhh...summer! The time of year when everyone wants to be outside to soak up the sun, slow down, and have some fun!

For introverts, this can be a challenging time because it's also when everyone feels the urge to throw a party, have a BBQ or gather around the campfire. Of course, introverts don't hate all parties, but a summer filled with never-ending social events is enough to send even the most confident introvert into hiding!

But, if you're already feeling exhausted looking at your social obligations for the next few months, let's explore some ways to navigate the social scene while protecting your energy and honoring your desires.

Listen up, introverts! Being an introvert isn't bad, and you don't need to strive to be more extroverted.

One of my biggest pet peeves is hearing introverts think they're being extroverted in situations where they feel more confident! This bugs me because it implies introversion is a weakness that needs overcoming. And nothing could be further from the truth!

Networking gets a bad rap. Most people see it as something they should do but not something they want to do. And, for most introverts, the discomfort factor is STRONG!! But what if it didn't have to be something you dreaded, and it became something you genuinely enjoyed?

When you learn to approach networking in a way that honors your energy and aligns with your introverted advantages, you benefit in ways that you may not have previously considered.

I'm a hardcore (and proud!) introvert, and I LOVE networking, but this wasn't always the case.