Why Boundaries Important for Introverts
Setting boundaries is an exercise that many find challenging. It's not always easy to stand up for yourself when it feels like you might upset or let down others.
But neglecting to establish guardrails around what's important to you or how you deserve to be treated means you're upsetting and letting yourself down.
You are not less worthy than others, so your needs deserve to be protected!
For introverts, it can feel extra challenging to set boundaries because most shy away from conflict and because conditioning has led you to believe your introvert-based needs are unacceptable or unnecessary.
Society likes to paint the picture that introversion is something to overcome or fix. When faced with the need to establish a boundary to protect yourself, it may be difficult even to recognize that this is something you can and should create for yourself!
Like many, I've struggled with setting boundaries for myself because I learned to be the friendly, people-pleasing, don't-make-waves kind of person. So, for years, I had ZERO boundaries! But, eventually, I learned to cut my teeth on those I didn't feel would upset others (you gotta start somewhere!).
But, eventually, as I did more and more work on myself, I came face to face with the reality that to grow beyond my perceived limitations, I would need to embrace the discomfort and learn to speak up for myself.
I can't say I'm perfect at it (yet!), and occasionally, I still hit areas where I shy away from standing in my power and laying down a few expectations. But recently, in working with a coach, she helped me reframe my perspective on the idea of boundaries.
What can feel challenging about boundaries is that they feel exclusive. It can feel like building a wall around yourself to keep others out, which may not be quite what you're going for, right?
That's it!
Seeing boundaries through this perspective made a lot more sense to me! It also helped me understand why I've always struggled with this practice. To speak your truth as a non-negotiable request means you have to value yourself. You have to see that you and your needs are worthy of expectation that your needs be respected.
And that's something that many introverts struggle with, given the lack of understanding of what it actually means to be an introvert.
So, today, in Part 1 of the Setting Boundaries for Introverts 4-part series, I want to share 3 reasons why it's so important to learn to speak your truth to establish boundaries in your life.
Reason One: Setting Boundaries Protects your Energy
Unfortunately, our world is not designed to support how introverts recharge.
Everyone needs time to recharge their energetic battery. This battery gives you the oomph to make it through your day and enjoy yourself. When you're drained and exhausted, everything feels harder, it's easier to get frustrated and angry, and you struggle to tap into your strengths.
Many introverts don't believe extroverts ever get drained or exhausted because they don't see them needing alone time to recharge. They seem like Energizer bunnies that can keep going and going and going. But this isn't true! Extroverts recharge by being around other people. They become drained by spending too much time alone.
Introverts, on the other hand, are the exact opposite. Introverts become drained by spending too much time around other people and recharge by spending quality time alone.
Because of our extrovert-biased society, the world is NOT designed to protect and recharge introverts' energy! It's designed to accommodate the needs of extroverts.
If you're unsure how to manage your energy, then check out my Introvert Energy Management workbook that you can download for free!
Reason Two: Setting Boundaries Builds your Confidence
The second reason setting boundaries is super important for introverts is that you show yourself that you value and care about yourself.
I know that sounds a little crazy, but so many people struggle to value their needs when it feels like you're placing them ahead of others (especially women!). It's NEVER SELFISH to take care of yourself! That's foundational in being a human being.
When you learn to set boundaries for your needs, your confidence grows because you value yourself. You're not sacrificing yourself for the sake of others. When you love yourself, it teaches others to do the same!
Also, when your boundaries are in place, you feel good about yourself, which further feeds your self-confidence.
Reason Three: Setting Boundaries Allows you to Reclaim your Power
Finally, the third reason setting boundaries are so important for introverts is that you learn to reclaim your personal power.
Your personal power is how you show up with others in a way that communicates who you are, what you stand for, and what you expect from others; your mindset about yourself and your self-confidence fuels this power. When your personal power is strong, you can influence and inspire others to listen to and respect you. As a result, you command healthy attention from others.
Personal power is not about manipulation or taking away the will of others through force, it's about believing in yourself, knowing you are valuable, and expecting others to see you in the same light.
When you become experienced in setting boundaries for yourself, you can assess your needs and desires, see them as valid and worthy, and protect them.
You get to choose how others treat you. And it all starts with the boundaries you put in place for yourself. Think of these boundaries as the guidebook for how others will treat you!
In the meantime, if this is something you need help with, schedule your complimentary Introvert Awareness & Expansion call, where you'll learn how the extrovert-biased conditioning limits you, your strengths as an introvert, and how to start doing things YOUR way. We'll also explore how we can work together to get you where you want to be in your life or career/business!