Having confidence is something that a lot of people struggle with, right?

Confidence is one of those things that's an inside job.

What I mean by that is no one else can make you believe in yourself! Only you can do that!

But, it can feel challenging to feel that deep sense of unshakeable confidence when a lifetime of extrovert-biased conditioning leaves you believing that being an introvert is a disadvantage or something you need to overcome (it's NOT!).

As I've shared in the first two parts of the Setting Boundaries for Introverts 4-part series, boundaries are essential to life.

Everyone needs boundaries, but many struggle to identify, communicate, and enforce those needed protections.

In part 1, I shared why it's SO essential for introverts to have boundaries, and in part 2 I shared the three types of boundaries every introvert needs (and how to create your own!). Today, I want to take the conversation further and talk about one of the most complex parts of setting boundaries: communicating and enforcing your boundaries.

Boundaries are one of those essential life skills that I feel we have to learn "on the job." No one teaches us how to speak up for ourselves or even get clear with ourselves on when to speak up for ourselves!

It can feel challenging to confront someone with a request that feels aligned with you but might not be for them.

But, for so many, it's easier to stay quiet and figure out a way to just deal with it, right?

Setting boundaries is an exercise that many find challenging. It's not always easy to stand up for yourself when it feels like you might upset or let down others. But, neglecting to establish guardrails around what's important to you or how you deserve to be treated means you're upsetting and letting yourself down.

You are not less worthy than others, so your needs deserve to be protected!

For introverts, it can feel extra challenging to set boundaries because most shy away from conflict and because conditioning has led you to believe your introvert-based needs are unacceptable or unnecessary.

For my first "real" job out of college, I was a consultant for a software company. I traveled half the month (not as glamorous as it sounds), visiting clients, giving presentations or training, and going to dinner with my colleagues and clients.

I was in the office fielding support calls for the rest of the month. That meant taking call after call from 8:30 am to 5:30 pm. Portions of each day were non-stop calls: as soon as I'd hang up from one, the next call was already ringing.

My coworkers were right out of college and new to our town, just like me. So, everyone bonded! My coworkers were my roommates and my entire social circle.

Between living with roommates and someone always having a party, I rarely had alone time.